Settle by Nikita Munshi

I lay in my bed

All rolled up like a bundle of fur

Tucked deep into my blanket

“It’s morning” I whisper to myself,

And immediately my mind responds

“But it’s night somewhere”

And I promptly drift off to sleep again.

Not a deep sleep, just a mere snooze

A shut-eye

To keep me here, instead of out in the world.

I shuffle around, and manage to find the curtain remote

Allowing a little bit of sunshine to creep in

It seems blinding to me.

I prefer the darkness.

Where no one sees me, and I see no one,

Where no one questions me, for I have no answers to give.

I prefer the darkness,

Because at night I can speak to him, connect with him

Hear his voice in my head, and picture his smile,

Even if faintly so.

Without him, the world feels like a foreign place,

I struggle to understand what’s mine anymore,

I like speaking to no one,

So that my mind is able to solely focus on thoughts of him,

To retain all the tiny pieces

In my mind

And my heart

For that’s the only way the darkness within can settle.

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