I lay in my bed
All rolled up like a bundle of fur
Tucked deep into my blanket
“It’s morning” I whisper to myself,
And immediately my mind responds
“But it’s night somewhere”
And I promptly drift off to sleep again.
Not a deep sleep, just a mere snooze
To keep me here, instead of out in the world.
I shuffle around, and manage to find the curtain remote
Allowing a little bit of sunshine to creep in
It seems blinding to me.
I prefer the darkness.
Where no one sees me, and I see no one,
Where no one questions me, for I have no answers to give.
I prefer the darkness,
Because at night I can speak to him, connect with him
Hear his voice in my head, and picture his smile,
Even if faintly so.
Without him, the world feels like a foreign place,
I struggle to understand what’s mine anymore,
I like speaking to no one,
So that my mind is able to solely focus on thoughts of him,
To retain all the tiny pieces
In my mind
And my heart
For that’s the only way the darkness within can settle.